Porn
Porn, a word that can immediately create a mental image and expectation.
A mixture of judgments based on experience, society and stigma.
Porn has its place in the sexual world for all.
Statistics show that young people will have seen a pornographic image by the age of 7/8years old (British Board of Film Classification). Porn is used by young people as a form of education, for arousal, for curiosity or ‘for a laugh’.
How can we help young people access the correct resources for these outlets of sexual interest?
Improved sex education! Both for young people and beyond.
Understanding porn is a fantasy is crucial. The majority of porn is not a depiction of reality. It is not real life sex. But often people who watch porn take it in as if it was a lesson teaching you to have ‘good sex’. I have heard it said before; ‘you wouldn’t learn to drive from the Fast and Furious films, in the same way you shouldn’t learn to have sex by watching porn’.
Pay for your porn.
Free porn from sharing sites cannot guarantee you consent. Be this age or for filming. Shame and embarrassment surrounds porn so much that people may find themselves embarrassed to pay for porn as it leaves a trail for someone to find out. Showing up on bank statements etc. This is an issue that needs education and communication. Sex as I have discussed before is a social taboo. Porn even more so. With a better the shame surrounding them would be reduced.
Sexual arousal is normal. We have sex for fun & enjoyment. So as a part of that self love and self pleasure is a voyage of self discovery and joy. Porn helps aid that sexual experience for some. Paid for porn is= likely to be less problematic and harmful than free porn, providing a better quality of sex.
Normalise porn. Ethical porn.
Ethical porn promotes safe, consensual sex. In all forms and interests. The same cannot be said for free porn sharing sites. In 2020 Pornhub had to remove over two thirds of its uploaded videos as consent could not be proved (Guardian). This included sex with minors (rape) and people that had been trafficked.
Ethical porn is more likely promote good representation in terms of race, gender, sexuality etc.
A lot of free porn, on sharing sites, does not focus on female pleasure. Merely using women as an object to at first desire and then use. The sex quite often lacks clitoral stimulation or oral received by the female performer. In some porn it is as if women are simply a masturbatory aid to men. Ethical porn helps reduce this pleasure gap by redistributing sexual enjoyment. Treating performer and crew with respect and care.
Porn is a resource for all. Young old, single in a relationship, straight or queer etc. It has its place. But only the right kind of porn.
Ethical porn sites for you to try:
Erika Lust - artistic and sexy, porn for all.
Bellesa - porn made by women.
Make Love Not Porn - real sex, real people, real vulnerability.
OnlyFans - everyone has heard of it, Self produced content.
kink.com - have strict consent lists to keep within boundaries.
Ethical porn makes pornography more accessible for women.
Porn is often viewed by society as a male only viewing and perhaps more shameful for women due to societies outdated expectations of sex being for men! But actually women can really enjoy porn too. Women like sex! But the sex shown in free porn sharing sites etc often does not appeal or is not shown in a way that is enjoyable for all. Women are more likely to enjoy ethical porn.
Ethical porn levels the playing field in terms of viewership, experience and performance.
Porn is not for everyone but ask yourself are your views on porn are influenced by something you’ve seen previously, social influence, gender expectations or learnt shame? Sexual enjoyment is not shameful. Celebrate it!